photography

i feel inspired right now!
:D
im going to go take some pictures!
but i wish i had some models..or something.
a boy and a girl!
oooooo...i have so many cool ideas for that right now!
okay, wish me luck on my photography adventure.
maybe i'll post some of them later.


<3

stay mine

"i don't know what else to say [to you]
but i couldnt end this day [without you]
so don't go away,
i need you to stay.
fingers intertwined,
please stay mine.
forever.
hearts never crashed as violently as ours,
those stars shine bright with envy,
send me your love in a bottle tossed to the sea.
i'll get it eventually.
please don't leave.
never."

time

Today i was seeing how far the calendar on my phone would go.
It went to December 31, 2069.
I would be about 87 years old.
And as those days, weeks, months, and years were passing by my screen i was thinking.
What will happen to me between now and then?
Will i get a good job? How many times will i fall in love? Who will i spend the rest of my life with? Will we be happy? Will i get married? Will i have kids? How many? Will they be happy and healthy? Who do i know that will die? When will they die? How will they die? When will i die? How will i die? Will i get to visit Europe? Will i get to do ALL the things i want to do? Will i witness another world war? Will i witness the beggining of peace? How far will technology go after im gone? Will there be an apocolypse? Will i be around for it? Whats after death? Whats before life? Whats beyond the universe?
Half of these questions i will NEVER know the answers.

Time.
We don't all have an equal amount of it.
We don't know if it will come to a screaching stop or slowly fade away.




we were never shaking, only breaking.

dreams

I wish i could control what i dream of!
I know about a billion things i would want to dream about! :D



i dont even really have anything to say right now..
so why am i doing this?
haha.


so you like my new picture at the top?
The Apology by Mark Ryden
:D
i wish i could paint like him!
<3

mistakes

i've learned from other people and there mistakes. Also from people in books. I've seen so many situations and there outcomes and what would have happened had they gone the other way. They act out of fear...and then regret it.

I won't do that.

Im terrified!! but i KNOW what will happen if i turn away now. I'll lose the hope of having everything i've ever wanted! Just because i was scared of the unknown!? That's not good enough of an excuse!

I just wish there wasn't always a catch...

staring

In my dream he was just staring at me.
So this is what dreammoods.com has told me about that.

Staring:
To dream that someone is staring at you, suggests that you are hoping someone would look your way more often. It may also represent anxiety or pride.

That pretty much sums it up exactly.








no lies.

lost

why did you turn left,
when you were told to turn right?
what made you stray the wrong way?
the dark path won't always have light,
so don't take a risk if you don't need to.
I'm always here even when I seem far.
Don't raise the bar too high,
we can't all have stilts.
Stare at the sky for awhile.
Just don't turn your back on life...and everything that comes with it.


Please don't do this...

Headline Hero

i like it.
not quite sure what it means.
but it has a nice ring to it!
:D

is it?

I dont know!
I've never felt it before.
I wish i could tell.
Is it true?
Or is it false?
Is his true?
Is mine false?
Is mine true?
Or his false?
Or both the same?
Or both not at all?
Too early?
Or too late?
Are these the questions one always asks themselves?
I dont know!

VOTE!

I want to soooo bad! it's not fair i missed it by only 3 fucking months!
It makes me feel powerless! i dont want McCain!
Obama HAS to win!
Health Care is very important to me! especially with the economy the way it is nobody is going to be able to afford it! but if its by taxes everyone will be okay. and not everybody will be taxed for it anyway!
So vote Obama! its the right vote!
for the sake of humanity vote for him!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drugs are bad!

cause this fool from South Park said so!

and thats just the truth.

im really hyper right now! and i have no clue why....well maybe i have a clue. haha. it could be moutain dew but i doubt that! Funyuns sound soooo good right now! and more moutain dew!

Tomorrow me and brittany are gonna finish Lion King 2 because we were interupted last time and then were gonna sit in my spa!

:D

jealous? good.

bahaha!

peace.

where would i be without it?
I have no clue.
It's just so inspiring and uplifting! :D

and...truthful.

have heart

my heart starts to race,
and my legs start to shake.
I couldn't catch my breath,
even if i had the biggest net.


<3

confused

I think that's the right word to explain me right now.
Can you want something and still not like some things about it?
I think so.
Maybe.
I should have read some different books to help me out with this.
haha.
Books.
Even though things don't make since for them you know in the end they'll find themesleves.
But thats not too true with life, is it?
Our books aren't already written and someone is reading it, knowing that everything will work out alright for us.
Or is it?
See?
You never really know anything!
I guess im just going to go for it, and hope i benifit from it.
:)
wish me luck.

Paperthin Hymn

By: Anberlin

When your only friends are hotel rooms
Hands are distant lullabies
If I could turn around I would tonight

These roads never seemed so long
Since your paper heart stopped beating leaving me suddenly alone
Will daybreak ever come?

Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands

I thought you said forever(Over and over)
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head(Over and over)

Complaints of violins become my only friends
August eveningsBring solemn warnings
To remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight

You never know what temporal days may bring
Laugh, love, live free and sing
When life is in discordPraise ye the Lord

Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance

To put my arms in fragile handsI thought you said forever(Over and over)
This sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head(Over and over)
Complaints of violins become my only friendsI thought you said forever(Over and over)
The sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head(Over and over)
Complaints of violins become my only friendsI thought you said forever(Over and over)
These thoughts run through my head


I love this song!
It's like Edward thinking about Bella!
<3

I won't ignore it.

i know iam right!
even if my mom doesnt think so.
i know iam!

People have soo many different sides, that you cant possibly judge them from a few things they've done or said. It could have been out of desperation, stupidity, lonliness. Anything! So, you just can't judge them! When you don't know everything!

"I'd be a fool to let you by,
for that one little lie.
For that one flaw,
that I couldn't call my own."

i know...

how it feels.
I know.
I've seen it.
I've fought against it.
I've lost to it time and time again.
So, i know.
So, don't worry.

yesterday

was REALLY fun!
I wish most days could be like that!
:D

hmm...

i was reading my last few blogs and they seem rather depressing! haha!
I just see things on different levels sometimes. I see the horrible bad sides of things and i see the amazingly beautiful sides of things.
so..yeah...
:D

im goin to the bean fest today!
hopefully the heat doesnt bother me too much!(GO WINTER!)
but i cant wait to get some kind of smoothie!
:D
bye.

false hopes

They give us false hopes. They tell us how great things are going to be and how happy you will be. Then none of it is right, as if it were a cruel lie to make you do what they want. I don't like this. The closer i get to it the uneasier i feel. I wish i could go in reverse. I wish i could leave everything and live the way i want too. I don't know whats going to happen.
Officially Alexander Supertramp is my hero. He got one thing right and one thing wrong. He was right, society is wack. He was wrong, you need other people to be happy. I wish i could have met the man. I would have followed him....

Monsters

The monsters come in all different forms. Some easily banished and others that only hide in a dark corner and stare. Waiting for the second when your mind starts to wander and your guards crumple to their knees. That’s when they return, slithering past your fallen guards to be front and center. Oh, how they love the spotlight! They grow in it, feeding off the naked fear that consumes your every thought. They’ll never stop, not until your guards rise firmly to their feet. Will they ever? As they lie on the floor like broken dolls. Will they ever rise again? Surely the monsters must tire of their cruel games, but oh how they never sleep! They never sleep….
By: Amanda Sue (me)


You like?

money

I hate how money motivates everything people do. There are WAY more important things than money and it makes me sad that some people don't relize that. Unfortunatly money has become a necisity. I live in the wrong century. I wish I had a time machine so I could go where I should have been.
It smells like onions in my house..i didn't know we were having onions for dinner.

"His voice was shaking--heavens, what a plague love was! Anyone who claimed otherwise had never felt that wretched trembling of the heart."-Inkspell page 505

oh,the spiders!

okay,there really are no spiders, but every once in a while a loose strand of my hair will tickle on my arm. And for the life of me i think it's a spider for like 5 seconds! So a few times daily i have a mini heart attack. I don't think that is good for my poor little heart.

On another note, we are having linguisa(spelling?) sandwiches for dinner. I'am, what is the term...stoked! I'am stoked for dinner!


Who wants to buy me some books? ;)

where are the men with brooms?

I have this notion that i have to be swept off my feet. I watched too many Disney movies as a child and read too many books now. That's probably the reason. I just wish my heart wasn't set on those type of ways of falling in love.


Oh, well. Time will tell.

Inkheart

I love that book! It's just so wonderfully written!

"A fireball hung over Elinor's lawn, a bright, blazing globe of fire. It ate away at the darkness like a living thing. And it was so big, Meggie felt sure everything around it would go up in flames: the grass, the deck chair, and Dustfinger himself....He made the fire climb high in the air, as if to set the stars alight. Then he lit a second torch and ran it's flame over his bare arms. He looked as happy as a child playing with a pet animal. The fire licked at his skin like something living, a darting, burning creature that he had befriended, a creature that caressed him and danced for him and drove the night away."-Inkheart page 67

Oh, how i wish i were in a book!

down the shitter

That's were everything has been going! School just likes to steal my happiness and-like i said-flush it down the shitter. Hmm...i seem to have some sort of bad luck. I should really look into acquiring some sort of lucky charm.

(if only that delicious cereal could solve my bad luck.)

i need...

to write something amazing! It's almost like a beast inside me that I haven't been feeding and if I don't act soon it will start to eat away at me. I can't really explain it. It's just a hunger I have for beauty. Beautiful words, beautiful thoughts, beautiful feelings, beautiful sights. i NEED them, and so far i've had to settle with beautiful words and thoughts, because beautiful feelings and sights are never in my reach. I fear that i'll never be fully satisfied, because everthing revolves around money. You get an education to get a good job to earn money. Of what i've seen it's never done anyone any good. I've seen people work so much and never truly get anything back. It makes me extremley sad. As if i were staring into the future at myself. Working all day and never being able to go to the places i want and to experince the things that i want because i never have enough money. Well to hell with money. All it ever causes is pain. All i need would be easily found if it weren't crushed everday by society, forced to hide in the smallest corners of the world. Only reachable for those who truly know what it looks like. I know though that i will always look for it, the beauty of this world that has nothing to do with society. And everything that makes us human.

Shitty McShitbag

I DON'T HAVE LUNCH WITH BRITTANY....AGAIN! Im sooo ANGRY I could just spit!! Who decides that crap!? Seriously! They should let us pick at least 2 people we want to have lunch with and then give us the same lunch. At least the Seniors should get to do that! AND I didn't get into Piano! How the heck am i supposed to play the piano on a Disney Cruise Ship now!?! Thanks for screwing up my future THS!

>:[

the nightmare show

wow,that would make a cool band name! Hmm.... Anyway, I had a nightmare last night, two actually. I was thinking it would be cool to write my dreams and nightmares as if they were stories. I think i'm gonna do that! And then I could post them here! Because my dreams and nightmares are usually just flat out strange. haha.
Last nights nightmare envolved a triple homicide, in which case I was the only survivor. The strange thing was I was a little boy of about 10. haha. Maybe it wasn't just a nightmare but a glimpse at a past life. who knows? not me, unless I went and made an appointment with that one guy that was on Oprah(which i intend to do in the future).
Well, I think I rambled enough for this evening.


"fill the rabbit hole with dirt, Alice won't want to wake from this dream."-Amanda Sue a.k.a me

Farewell

for a while. Breaking Dawn comes out and i probably won't get on the computer much while im reading it. So thats probably like a whole 3 days at the most. haha. I'm a fast reader. Todays Breaking Dawn quote is scary:

Jacob: “I’ll kill you myself! I’ll do it now!”

He's gonna kill Bella! 0_0
oh, and I saw the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince trailer. Looks awesome! XD
sooo long.

once upon a dream

I had a dream a few days ago. It was one of those dreams that just really mean something to you. You don't really know why but it does. So yesterday I sat down and wrote something dream me was feeling and thinking in the dream. It was fun to write so im gonna post it! :D
Enjoy.

I knew something was wrong. I knew his words were so tragically wrong, though he honestly believed he was right. His smile was so filled with reasurement and joy that I swallowed the words that would contradict him. It would not end how he wanted it to end. It would not end how I wanted it to end. In fact, the only thing that would end was the smallest amount of happiness we had left. Though this is not about endings, this is about beginnings. Beginnings to things that should never have beginnings. I watched his face that was still filled with joy, unknown to him it would be quickly wiped away in just a few moments. Wiped away by something darker, something sadder.
Then it happened.
I watched as their words penetrated him. I watched as the poison of those words sunk into his veins. I watched as his face crumpled into a mask of despair. He was wrong and now he knew it.
Nothing would ever be the same. In one moment our lifes became completely ireversible. There was no going back. There was no fixing the damage. It was not a wound that would heal. It was a disease with no cure. Death was our only salvation and one we would not accept.

bored and burnt

Im bored because theres nothing to do. Im burnt because i went swimming all day and forgot to put sunscreen on before it was too late. So now i feel like a vampire because if i go in the sun my flesh burns.haha.Brittany let me borrow a book and i already finished it so that adds to the boredom. It was called Crank. After i read it i went to bed and i had a dream that was kinda about it. It was a sad dream like the book,but really good. im still bored! i think im gonna watch The Office!

summer hair forever young

good song by The Academy Is.... but i cut my hair so its not forever young. It's not super short, but it is shorter. and i have more layers. but next time i get to put some blue in it! :D its gonna be soo awesome! yay!

and later im spending the night at Brittany's house and were going swimming! I have'nt been swimming in a long time! and i had a gross enchilada today but the beans and rice were good! :D

insomnia

I could not sleep last night! It was ridiculous! I layed in my bed for three hours! I would have went mad if I wasn't texting Sean. Hopefully that doesn't happen again tonight because I have to get up early tomorrow cause im getting my hair cut (sorry sean). So im gonna be in Antioch for a long time tomorrow. :(

over my dead body

but a vampire would say...

"over my pile of ashes."-Rosalie

haha.

August 2nd, Breaking Dawn

Who's going to be at Barnes & Noble till midnight!?

I felt the need to blog.

So I came here. and cause Brittany(my best friend) found this blogging spot in the blog-o-sphere. haha. So yeah, this is where I will be telling all the strange things that happen to me. And where I will post weird stories I find on the news.
Enjoy!
:D